The Love Bugs
by Maliku-ai
Summary: When love sick Yami gets down over his lack of relationship, he turns to his friends for help by falling in love with all of them and hoping for them to accept his love for their own! bad language and shounenai! A comedic romance story! Enjoy!
1. Enter Anzu

_**The Love Bugs**_

SUMMARY: **When love sick Yami is depressed of his "loneliness", he looks to his friends for a love life! He decides to try and find love in each friend by falling for each of them, hoping for one of his friends to fall for him! Is Yami hopeless in all of this…or….will he find love in maybe…Seto, Joey, Tristan, or even the fav. Yaoi** **couple of Bakura and Malik! You'll have to find out yourself.**

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**Chapter one: Anzu**

Yami and Yugi are talking in Yugi's room, Yami not having his own body makes Yugi talking to him look…a little…weird. But getting back, Yami is feeling depressed over….well… anyways, Yugi, being the big help that he is, is trying to calm dear Yami…,

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE DEPRESSED," see…biggg help there..."YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE SAD OVER."

"I'VE BEEN TRAPPED IN THAT DAMN PIZZLE FOR 5,000 YEARS; I...NEED…SOME LOVIN!" He sighs and thinks maybe if he just had his own body, he might…get some babes! But sadly nothing would help him. "Am I destined to be alone?"

"You have me."-

"Yep…I'm alone." He sighs yet again.

He gives Yami an evil glare, neglecting to notice that Yami could care less what he's doing. "Whatever Yamster…but anyways…Anzu is coming over, so…DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID! Okay?" He goes to window to watch for Anzu….b/c we all know that feeling between the two that makes some gag and some giggle. (I'm one of the ones that gag).

He sighs "fine," but then he thinks…about…Anzu, "no…wait….Yugi, let me switch with you."

"NO…wait, why?" Looks away from window.

"Can't you just trust me?" Puppy face.

"Nope" Didn't even think about it.

"You didn't even think about that!" Weird how he knew, no?... "Now then…YOU'RE GOING TO SWITCH WITH ME NO MATTER WHAT!NOW SWITCH!"

After the fancy light show, Egyptian theme music, and Yugi screaming 'YUGIOH' , they finally switch. And Yugi gets mad. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE SWITCHING WITHOUT NOTICE YOU JACKASS!" See told you he was mad.

"Shut-up and take it like a man," Yami looks out the window, "besides…Anzu is here!"

He doesn't like it but Yugi finally decides to shut his mouth! He really didn't want to argue in front of her…plus he wanted to see Yami make a fool of himself! Anzu walks up and knocks on the door. knock knock Teehee - sound affects! "Hello…is anyone home."

Yami pops out of nowhere, "Just me baby!" purrs

"OH…MY…GOD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HER?"

"Shut-up, you're ruining my mojo"

Seeming a little puzzled "You…have a mojo? I don't even have a mojo, and I get the babes! I WANT A MOJO!" He finally calms down a little.

"Would….you…HUSH!" Takes a deep breath, "Thank You…now then to my dearest Anzu. How are you feeling my love?" Looks into her, currently, heartless eyes.

Anzu with her disgusted look can do nothing but laugh at his attempt! But then she speaks o "Me….your…love? That's funny pharaoh! Now what is going on here?"

Stares at Yami.

Puzzled by her reaction Yami is stuck on what to say… "N…nothing but my unconditional l….love for you my sweet! I want to grow old with you, have children with you, I want to…"

Stops him mid sentence, "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE BUB! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE! HARASSING ME LIKE THAT YOU JERK!"

-confused Yami has no idea what to say….but suddenly gets an idea! "Anzu hold on! YUGI SWITCH!" After the fancy light show, Egyptian theme music, and Yugi screaming yet again, they switch!

"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU….NO RANDOM SWITCHES!" Notices Anzu and calms down. "Ummmm…hi Anzu." - blush much.

"Psssst…Yugi try to help me out here! Tell her how super cool I am .!

"Ix-nay on the alking-tay!" Pig Latin, so you know.

Anzu sees Yugi and she light up! Just watch. "YUGI….thank gosh you're here," See what I meant, "I was worried. The pharaoh was starting to freak…me…out!" Leans in to whisper… "I think he's gay." -

Yugi chuckles. "Yeah I think so too."

Yami over hearing this convo, isn't very happy! "YUGI YOU JACKASS, YOU'RE NOT HELPING MY SITUATION, NOW SWITCH!" Fancy light show, Egyptian theme music, and Yugi screaming yet again! "Now then…I'm back!"

"STOP SWITCHING!" Yugi starts breathing heavy.

"HUSH, now Anzu you've given me no choice but to go to plan 'C', a plan I didn't want to go to! Now then…I'll be right back darling!" And with that he went into the next room!

Just then jounoichi(I think I spelled it right) showed up at Yugi's doorstep. For this story…I'll just call him Joey, k? "Hi Anzu, sup!"

"Nutin but the pharaoh's ego…how bout you? All though…she really wasn't interested!

He smiles… "Nutin but the ceiling b…..oh my god!" Joey points behind Anzu!

"What," She turns around to see Yami…standing in the middle of the room….but naked!

Yami being the only one smiling says, "Well…surprise my dear!"

"Oh….my…..god…" Then speechless Anzu faints right then and there and that sight!

Yami is perplexed but still manages to talk….unfortunately! "Wh…wh….WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED! I don't get it Yoog?"

"It's easy asshole….she fainted at the sight of…well that!"

"But….but…that wasn't supposed to happen!"

Yugi sighs. "Look…why don't you just give up on Anzu and leave her to me, k?"

"Fine, but who else is there!"

Joey looks up from Anzu's unconsciousness to Yami….than to Yami's face -! "Ummmm…well now…yeah I have to go to the thing….sooo….Bye!" And he runs straight out the door!

Yami starts to think then speaks…. "Hmmmm….Joey! I wonder….?"

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	2. Enter Joey

Here's the chapter of 2…..if you like chapter one, I hope this chapter is just as good. As we saw in the last chapter, Yami was forced to give up his "love" for Anzu….. yeah…. love…. sure….? But anyways, Yami goes to trial number 2…..Joey….!Enjoy!

Ohhh…. And in case u were wondering… this is written in 3rd person! I hope that clears some stuff up!

Ohhh, also….. this is were the Yaoi comes in (and the bad language is here to stay)!

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**Chapter two: Joey**

After Yami's… "situation" with Anzu, Yami decides to take a different route with his new love…Joey. This time he decides to…plan ahead with this one! But then again, Yami has never been the best person when it comes to….relationships! But he'll never give up, unfortunately….

Yami is out using Yugi's body….shopping! Wondering of his so called "true love"...let's watch "Yugi….what does my love like to do?" Yami, trying to find something to give Joey, is starting to annoy little Yugi!

"HE'S NOT YOUR LOVER….and would you please not be gay, just for one day! Especially with Joey…..pleeeeease!"

"You're just jealous because I have love and you don't so there!" Turns to walk home….but sees Joey in the distance with Tristan! Though he manages to keep calm…. "OHH MY GOSH…..THERE HE IS!MY LOVE, I DIDN'T PREPARE! …..uggggg, what to do, what to do!" ' well….maybe calm isn't the word!

"HE'S NOT YOUR LOVER! And why don't you just wing it like you did with Anzu! He smiles !

"You're not funny you sarcastic bastard! Now shut-up I have to think!" Even though he has a minimal amount of time and brain effort to think….he gives the old' Egyptian try! Which it didn't take him long to realize that he had….absolutely nothing '! I just hope it doesn't turn out like last time! Because this time….their in public! "WHAT AM I GUNNA DO?"

"Just promise me you won't get naked again!"

"I just hope it doesn't come to that!" Yugi sighs and prays for the same thing….for the sake of everyone's lunch to stay down….or for them to stay conscious! "I know what I'm going to do….instead of coming straight out to him, I'll bring up the subject….very slowly…."

"O…k…and this will help….how…?" Puzzled much! oo

"Just Watch!" Yugi sighs and as Joey and Tristan approach, Tristan walks into a store and Joey walks towards Yami!

"Hey Yami…you feelin' better today!"

"Better…?" Confused much….

Yugi, rolling his eyes during this entire, manages to keep quiet…though he wants to laugh his freakin Dutch head off! (I have nothing against the Dutch, it just seemed necessary !) "I don't know, yesterday you seemed different….sickly even! Just wondering what the hell was up with you, man!"

"Ummmm…..well….ummmm….I guess I was just in a weird mood….but I'm better now that you're here Joey!" after the fluttering of the eyes, Joey starts getting a little scared.

"Yami, you're scarin' me," see told ya! "Maybe you should go home and lie down….!" Really….he just wants to get rid of him….FAST!

"Or…maybe we could get some coffee some time…"

"I don't like coffee!"

"Milkshakes?"

"No!"

"Root Beer?"

"No!"

"Any sort of liquidy substance that can be consumed over the enjoyment of our togetherness…?" Persistent much…?

"Ummmm….," strokes imaginary goatee, "…no!"

"But…but…but…why…?"

"St…st…st…stutter much!"

"ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!" That's a vain popper!

Joey thinks for a second! Unfortunately…it did not harm him. "Because Yamster, you're like my brother….and if we…did…that would be….wrong!"

Yami lowers his head and starts to trot away. "Fine I'll be on my way."

"Wait, get back here…I'm not mad I you! I understand why you would want someone as sexy as me!" Oh yeah…sexy is the word!(Sarcasm much!)

"Ummmm….yeah, I really think I should go!" Goes to walk away yet again when Joey grabs him by the shoulder.

"Nonsense! You should pal around with us Yamster!" Joey smiles

"Ummmm….sorry Joey there would be that awkwardness…so I think I'll go!"

Goes yet again to walk away but Joey grabs him again!

"Well Yami, if you want to consider it as….oh say a date!"

"REALLY! Wait…what about Tristan!"

"Oh he'll be alright on his own! He's still trying to get Serenity back from Seto! It's a very complicated process!" Sighs than laughs randomly at the fact of Seto and Serenity (like I do )

Yami perks up and smiles "Great….honey…so where to!"

"Hold on….I have to go tell Tristan what we're doing, k?"

"That's fine….but hurry back!" Joey nods and walks away! Yami, excited as ever, decides to rub it in Yugi's face! "HA…did you see that Yugi….I got a date!" Told you!

"Didn't you here him Yugi….it's not a real date!"

"Sooo…it's me and him, together, and lovin' it! Sounds like a date to me! Now shut-up here my love comes!" Yami literally having hearts for eyes dreams of the futures to be held with his love!

Joey returns. "Hey, ready to go!"

"Ready!" Yami goes to grab Joey's hand…yet Joey pulls away! Yami tries again but Joey continues to pull away! Then Joey finally gets curious!

"What the hell do you think your doing?"

"Trying to hold your hand!"

"Ooooh no, no lovey stuff on this date! Remember it's not an 'actual' date!"

Yami gets pissed! "THEN WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING THIS FOR! IF THIS ISN'T A REAL DATE THAN WHY ARE WE TORTURING OURSELVES! AND WHY ARE YOU BEING SUCH A DAMN ASS!" Maybe pissed is too small a word!

"I don't know….I just felt sorry for you!"

"So it's a pity date?" tears start to form!

"Yeah you could say that!"

Yugi starts to cry but then gets incredibly enraged! "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TOYING WITH MY EMOTIONS YOU BASTARD! I HOPE YOU BURN SO FAR IN HELL THAT EVEN SATAN LOOKS DOWN UPON YOU! YOU JACKASS!YUGI….SWITCH!" Fancy light show, Egyptian theme music, and then they switch! Yami's even more pissed turns to Yugi who has no clue what is going on! "Yugi take me home!"

Yugi looks at Joey who is speechless and manages to reply. "Ummmm…since I have no clue what happened, we can still be friends right?" He smiles like a little kid! A kind of "persuasion" technique I guess?

"Uhhhhh…ye…yeah sure!"

"Suuuuuper….O.K….well I'm going to go, like ummmm…now…sooo bye!" And with that, he runs off! Shortly after crashing into Tristan and knocks him down BOOM (sound affects )! "Sorry Tristan, I have to go!" he says as he gets up!

"Well watch where you're going next time Yoog!"

"Will do!" And he runs off again leaving the two of them in the dust! But as they leave Yami gets to thinking "_Hmmmm…Tristan….he's a down to Earth person! He maybe exactly what I need! Love still has a chance!" _And with that they head off!

_¿To Be Continued? _


	3. Enter Honda

Hey guys's! Here is my chapter Tres (that's three) ! But….getting back….Yami is depressed over his "mishap" with Joey, but hey…..something can still happen….with Honda….! Please read…..OR DIE…..cough I mean, enjoy! '

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**Chapter 3: Honda**

Yami is still taking the situation hard! Plus, Yugi not being worth any help is actually making it worse! But….there is still hope in Yami's heart….in Honda! ...Or is there...?

"I need to make this one work! If I don't…I think I'll die!" Which makes Yugi think…. but then he decides that would be too mean….plus Yami knows everything he is thinking since…you know…they share the same head!

"Ohhh clam down…you'll be ok, you suicidal maniac! Hey and don't you dare harm my body….I worked my ass off for this thing! Besides, Honda …. might … kinda….sort of, possibly want you? Just slip him a beer or two, that should loosen him up a bit!" ' (twitch twitch)

"No….I can't do that…..," Yami thinks then strokes imaginary chin, "…..well…maybe as a last resort! But let me try it my way first, k?" Yami being the one using the body goes to leave!

"Hey, your funeral!"

"You're not funny!" He grabs his coat and heads for the door, when the door bell rings! "WHO IS IT?"

After a moment of silence someone answers. "Yeah Yami….it's Honda!"

Yami gasps then calms down and opens the door! "Honda…ummmm…hi uhhh…I wasn't expecting you! Is there uhhh….something you want?" While saying all of this he was hypervenalating, so Honda was staring at him the entire time!

"Yeah…sure, anyways, I was coming to see if you we're ok! Joey told me everything and I was worried about you man! I'm sorry Joey was such an ass to you yesterday!" He smiles which makes Yami smile which makes Yugi sick to his stomach!

Yami sniffs then looks at Honda, "Its fine…I'll get over it." He then walks out of the house and he and Honda start walking. "Look….about yesterday…I guess I was just upset! And I'm sorry about Yugi bumping into to you! He's a little careless if you ask me!" Yami chuckles but he sounds nervous and Honda starts to get the hint!

"Uhhh….Yami are you nervous!"

After hyhpervenalating again he manages to calm down! "Uhhh…..me, nervous….never! Wh…wh….what ever gave you th…that idea!" Maybe not exactly calm! '

"Ummmm….maybe because of the fact that you're stuttering!" During all of this Yami is thinking _"Damn my girlish instincts!" _But thinking doesn't really get him anywhere….as we've seen before! But back to the outside of Yami's empty head… "Really man, tell me what's up!"

Yami takes a deep breath before even attempting to speak! " Just trust me when I say I can't!" Easy enough to say!

"Just tell me Yamster! I'll keep it on the down low!" Maybe not that easy….'

Sweatdrop forms and Yami loses his breath…and during all of this Yugi is laughing his head off(ouch!)! "Look Honda, if I could, I would! But…I'm nervous!"

"NERVOUS….in front of me! Oh that's rich Yami…that would have to mean that you like me or something!" Honda laughs uncontrollably!

"well……" He is SO timid!

"OMG….you do don't you….Hahaha that's even funnier! But seriously, what?" He's SO stupid! '

Gets annoyed! "YOU'RE NOT MAKING THIS ANY EASIER!"

"Sorry dude, but like I'm straight, and ……so no! Plus I have a girlfriend….she just doesn't know it yet! But anyways…NO!" Starts walking away.

"BUT WHY! WHY CAN"T YOU ACCEPT MY LOVE!" Starts chasing after him! But as Yami starts catching up Honda starts to run faster! But then Yami dives and tackles him to the ground WHAM ( I do love the sounds)…and holds him! "Now…tell me why!"

While struggling he tries to think of a way to get loose…. "I told you….I'M NOT GAY! Now leave ,me alone!" Just then Seto randomly steps out from behind a corner! Perfect timing, no?

What are you freaks doing! Though I'm glad to see you two as a couple!" As he laughs maniacally Yami lets go of Honda to tell Kaiba off!

"YOU JACKASS, WHY ARE YOU BEING SUCHA BITCH! STOP MAKING FUN OF ME AND LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!" I guess he told him! But as he does that Honda makes his getaway!

" Hey look…Your boyfriends running away!" But as Yami turns around to see him Honda stops!

"Uhhhhh…..we'll keep in touch, k?" But that doesn't help the fact that right now Yami wants to blow the entire world up….starting with Honda! But as he starts to run again Yami does something drastic!

"YOU ASS….YOUR JUST LIKE YOUR FRIEND! ONLY THIS TIME I WON'T BE SO NICE! IT'S THE SHADOW REALM FOR YOU! BE GONE….YOU BASTARD" After the fancy light show, Egyptian theme music, and Honda screaming, his body lies in a lifeless slump of nothing(or at least to Yami that's what he is)! "Humph…that's one problem eliminated!" He goes to walk away when Kaiba stops him!

"Are you just going to leave him in the middle of public!" Looks at Yami puzzled like!

Yami turns around, "Do you want him!" already knowing the answer! And with a scowl Kaiba turns and walks away back towards whatever unimportant thing that isn't really important right now! But as Yami walks away Yugi comes back to the scene!

"YOU IDIOT! YOU JUST SENT HIM TO THE SHADOW REALM FOR NOTHING!"

"It felt necessary….besides, he shouldn't have messed with my emotions!" Turns nose up!

"I REALLY DON'T GIVE A FLYING SHIT! YOU JUST CAN'T DO THAT A RANDOM TIMES IN RANDOM PLACES!" But while Yugi is talking, Yami tunes him out and he's sparked with a thought "_could Kaiba be the one….I_ _mean I never thought about it but….maybe…he could be….my true love!"_ But Yugi, knowing everything he thinks replies "Ohhh no, you're not thinking what I think you're thinking…. Are you!..."

Yami chuckles quite evil like…. " I'm not thinking anything Yugi….whatever gave you that impression!" He winks and smiles and heads home!

**tO beE cunTinUed**


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